69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
