her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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