you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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