He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
ugly people sure do ruin things
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
