I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
