Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
