It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
