Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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