Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
