The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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