Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
