Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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