Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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