we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Also, beer. Big fan.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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