Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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