She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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