I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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