I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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