I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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