i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
