East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
