Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize