you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
and she was petting her beer can
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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