her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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