I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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