She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize