So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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