I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
