you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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