What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
