So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
