Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
