He asked to "fluff my boner.."
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
