Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
