what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
