final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
