this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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