It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize