Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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