it was like eating out sand paper
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
