it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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