Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
