Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
