you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize
