I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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