She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
