so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
