There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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