And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
