..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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