i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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