he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
