remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
