The maid of honor just puked.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so let's talk penis.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
birth control should be required to get into college
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
