a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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