Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
