please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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