u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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