My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
