Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
