i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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