So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
