I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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