is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
