The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
