You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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