I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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